Transcript: Religion

Jerry: Hello, my name is Jerry Jackson. What is happening, guys? This is a cartoon I've made about religion. Religion is hard to describe in words but this is what it looks like.

(People shooting and firing with guns and the town explodes)

That was just a small slice of what religion looks like. My name is Jackson of the Jerry. I am back. I had quit but god had a word with me and told me to make a new cartoon. He reckons it is my third or fourth best so far.

God: Jerry, although it is nice to see our face back on a new episode, it could never live up to the past glories of the past. I am feeling a light to medium 4, and a special extra god point for putting me in it. But you didn't need to, I didn't say you had to but you've done it anyway.

Jerry: Thank you, god. Which of the gods are you the god?

God: Jerry, listen. I am all the gods. Don't even like start with me or anything because there is only one of me and I am the god. So dickhead, don't even start. I am almost tempted to not do this episode now. You are dissing me.

Jerry: I am sorry, God. I did not mean to dis you.

"Prays"

Jerry: This is my best friend, Jon.

(The "oh no" prayer chants "Oh noooooooooooo")

That noise means Jon has to go and pray now. Jon isn't allowed to show his hair because it turns the ladies on too much, and their fanny juice falls out and it makes the road too slippery and it is a hazard for the traffic.

"Popes"

Jerry: That over there is a pope. There are popes all over every town. He is in his natural habitat. One day, we will catch a pope and find out what he is doing, and see if he has the time on him, and maybe a quid for the bus or a chip butty for the way home. Catch that pope. Catch him. Don't let him get away. He's gone now. Try not to spook the pope next time because he does not like that.

"Jews"

Jerry: Jews is acidic but the pope is alkaline. That is the main difference between the two. Experingments. Take 2 Jews and mix it with a pope and a half and then dip in your special lip moss strip, and see what the colour is. If it's green then that means that Jon's mum is pregnant again.

Jon: Oh no!

Jerry: Jon's mum shouldn't be called Miss Jon, she should be called Miss Carriage, cause that is what she is always having.

Jon: Jerry. I think we need to have a little discussion about that joke.

Jerry: Okay, Jon. what is the problem?

Jon: I don't get it.

Jerry: I was saying that your mum is fat.

Jon: Oh. Yeah, she is a bit fat, yes.

Jerry: Plus, your dad run away.

Jon: He is scared of ghosts.

"Sacrifice"

Jerry: My friend, Mr. Chocolate Man, has done 3 be-headings for his god. I reckon he has eye chance of getting to paradise with that record.

Mr. Chocolate Man: Two of them was the infidel and the other was, this guy who tried to swap his half-broken PS4 controller with my fully brand new working one, but I saw him do it. He says, "Oh, it was just an accident", but I don't think so. I told him, "The beheading was just an accident too. LOLOLOLOLOL!?".

"A moment now of peace and quiet"

Jerry: There is no learning in this bit of the episode but Jon has got loads of knobs in his mouth. That was the bit where Jon had loads of knobs in his mouth.

Jon: Jerry, I don't think we should put that bit in the final cut of the episode because it might make me look a little bit homosepian.

Jerry: Thank you for your comments we are doing everything we can to resolve this ish.. Actually, Jon. No, bollocks to you. It is definitely going in cause it teaches a valuable lesson about life.

Jon: Okay, Jerry. I guess it is a good thing to set an example.

Jerry: Oh no, look. There is a pope. I am going to sneak up on him and..

Merrick: Got one!

The Pope: Oh no!

Jerry: Shut up! That is a bad pope. You just shut your gay pope mouth.

(Jerry hits the pope 2 times with a club)

When you catch a pope you have to let it know who is the boss. Who is the boss?

The Pope: You are, Jerry.

Jerry: Take this rubbish and put it in the outside bin, Pope.

The Pope: No, you do it. Up our arse. Suck my dick, knob eye.

Jerry: If your pope stops doing what you say, chuck him in the bin.

(He throws the pope in the bin)

In time for you, pope-y. This is the end of the road. You can now get crushed in the crushy bin. Bin man, take this pope away.

Bin man: Yes, Jerry of the Jackson, sir.

A JERRY JACKSON PRODUCTION.

Jerry: I have made loads of new friends since the last episode. Here is a few of them who have get their names writ out cause I said I would do.

Jacob Savichi

Harry Talbot

Scrambly

Essie Wood

Nikolas Muller

Michael Wiegand

Jordan Conger

Alex

Judson Putney

Goreman

Pumpandhold

Austin Butcher

Jean-David Gadina

Madeline Toland

Brandon Eggleston

Michael Single

Brain Train

Harry Cloud

Knot Olsen

Joe Cugini

John Potesta

Brian Neumann

Alex Kramer

Jessie Walker

Stevie Hry.. Hryc.. H..H.Hryciw. Sorry, Stevie that I cannot say that word.

Odin Jurray

Jens Kristian Hansen

Peyton Britt

Lawrence

DéVanse

Tane Anton

Chris Tieman

Cachet

Seo-Woo Choi

User profile name. That's a good one.

Marc Rake

fares fares

Darzzr

Valur Helgi Kristinsson

Charlotte McCann

Maxime Chevanson

Ville Suomalainian

Hang

WilmoTheBear

Gabriella Marlisa Zamora

Jeffrey Brett Coleman

Christopher Askin

ShaneMcKenna

Plushine

The Crow Butler

Kyle Mendes

Saku Tavela

I Heiriku López Sashida

Alex Makridakis

Clark Cunt

Mollie Heckering

Jeremiah Washburn

ONEY

Qua Couron

Eric Crump

Zan Miller

Ryan Lloyd

BloodPusAndRust

Ali Syme

Nomar Otruck Edilew. That's not a real name.

Mack

omer03

Ian Jurica

Michael Monteiro

Greg Knox

Michael Boharsik

Emily Crim

MF Cappiello

Robin Fernandes

Karl Page

Michael Graf

Stephen Kraus

Christian Battista

Ashton Lee

Jack Nicholls

Hisham Hassan

Kaleb Hickerson

Rob Hill

Manifest Pain

Those are all my new friends. I apologise if I said them wrong. I am a bit thick.

The End.