Transcript: The Food We Eat

A transcript of the episode The Food We Eat.

Transcript
Jerry: I am sorry, but this cartoon is not available in                   your region. LOL, oh no, just kidding, that would be really gay if I did that, what would be the point.

Hello, my name is Jerry Jackson, and this is a cartoon about healthy food.

People are everywhere in our streets, but look around and you will see that lots of them are ill and some               of them are fat. Oh look, there is a fat person now. Jon's mum is rate fat 'cos she eats too many burgers.

Jon:    Oh no, Jerry, that is not true, my mum is fat 'cos she has problems.

Jerry:  Jon, no-one has problems, it is just an excuse.

Excuse me, Mr. Fat man, sir, but you look rate ill and ugly, what did you have for breakfast?

Man:   Jerry Jackson, for breakfast I had sherbet, and liquorice, and Coca Cola and Haribos.

Jerry: OK, that sounds alright, maybe it is not your diet, maybe it is a genetic thing.

Man:   It probably is, Jerry.

Jerry: Some people really don't care about healthy livin'!

Me and my friend Berny have ... no that is a rubbish name ... me and my friend Tobi have been looking for             different things what is causing this.

Oh no! Tobi, look at my hand, it can talk. Hello, Tobi, I am Jerry's hand. Don't you think that is fascinatin'?

Tobi:   Jerry, usually it will take a lot of things to impress me, but boy I am blown away by that and I am stunned.

Jerry: Tobi is rate clever.

Jon is not doin' this episode 'cos he has got a new girlfriend.

Sady:  Hello, my name is Sady, and I am Jon's new girlfriend, I am a jipo.

Jerry: Sady lives in a house what has dog wee and trump smells when you walk in.

Oh no! It smells like you have been cookin' a pork dinner about 3 years ago and you have not cleaned it up yet.

Sady: That is the smell we like, Jerry Jackson.

Jerry: Sometimes her dad gives me old radio parts 'cos I am building a space-time-machine-mobile.

Sady's dad: Hello, Jerry Jacksoni! Have these radio parts for your moped.

Jerry: Thank you. Have these sausages for your tea, maybe some toast.

Sady's dad: We are vegetarians.

Jerry: I think they was lying about being vegetarians, because they are scrubbers, and vegetarians have funny lookin' houses with carpets on the walls and art.

Sady's dad: We will eat the toast though! KTHX.

Jerry: And they ated the toast, but it weren't very nice, IMMHO.

Everyone in this family looks proper ill, like you are all on heroin.

Sady's dad: Jerry Jackson, we do not have maybes the same money what your family has.

Jerry: All they can afford is chips and Coca Cola, when if they had more money they could buy lettuce and carrots.

Jerry: TV, can you solve the mystery of people bein' so pasty and funny lookin'?

TV: Jerry, err... I am scheduled to tape NASCAR racin' on channel 14, so at the moment I am too busy to field             that question.

Jerry: That is OK, telly, you probably work harder than my mum, who hardly works at all. That is why we are on                 low income.

Jerry's mum: Jerry Jackson, what a horrible thing to say. I am trying my hardest to raise you!

Jerry: Fuck off, mum! Get me another Xbox game! This time I want a good one, not that shit bollocks you bought             me last time, that was shit! I haven't even played it twice!

Jerry's mum: Yes, Jerry Jackson, anything for you my little angel.

Jerry: My mum was going to stop smoking when she had me, as a baby, but then she decided not to. I think                   that is her decision and her choice, and it is OK, 'cos I am not ill, but I could really use a ciggy right now.

Jerry's mum: Jerry Jackson, you know my ciggies are in the purse, so if you just need one, just get one and I                               will turn a blind eye.

Jerry: That is what I like about living at home, I get treated like a prince and my mum lets me smoke                                 ciggies.

Let's summarise what we have learned today. You cannot eat burgers for every meal, but you should try and just eat one of them a day. If you are playing on your PlayStation, try to play on athletics and sport games. Thank you for helping me help you, and maybe you can share your diet plans with me, and se... don't send them 'cos I won't read them.