Transcript: Christmas (episode)

Jerry: My name is Jerry Jackson and this is our Christmas cartoon. For Christmas dinner we had, fish & chips. And it tasted horrible cause my mum is crap at cooking.

Jerry's Mum: Here is your dinner, Jerry.

Jerry: LOL! It looks like shit, mum.

Jerry's Mum: I know.

Jerry: For my Christmas, I've got a Xbox 400 and a million games. What did you get, Jon?

Jon: I've bought a toothpaste and Toilet Duck for the bathroom. Cause it needs cleaning and my mum says I have to clean it. But I don't want, so I want to play computer games with Jerry Jackson.

Jerry: No, Jon. I've only got one pad and I'm not sharing cause you're gay. I like the Marks and Spencers adverts. They show food rate close up and it looks rate nice. Mum, can you get us some of that this Christmas?

Jerry's Mum: No, Jerry. We are skint so we are getting our Christmas food from the car boot sale.

Jerry: My mum got 110 lollies for 1 pound five from the car boot sale. They were Jamaican and they were expired but it was rate nice.

Jerry's Mum: Have you eaten all the lollies from around the Christmas tree?

Jerry: No, I think the dog ate them.

Jerry's Mum: Put him in his kennel.

Jerry: He has not got a kennel, he lives in his suitcase. Ben, my dog, that is a really nice suitcase. Have you had any sex in there?

Ben the dog: No, Jerry. I got my willy chopped off so I would not be sexually rowdy.

Staff writer George: Hello, Jerry. What have you got me for Christmas?

Jerry: I haven't got you all this year cause you stink like poo.

Staff writer George: That is not fair, Jerry, cause I've bought you a stable to put your horse in.

Jerry: I have not got a horse.

Staff writer George: Well, you can get a horse maybe for your birthdays.

Jerry: Christmas is rate good so you can eat loads of food and trump whenever you like.

Jerry's Mum: Jerry, I don't like you when you trump at the Christmas dinner table.

Jerry: It is alright, mum. Cause it smells better than the food.

Bruv: True.

Jerry's Dad: That is true, Jerry. I agree.

Jerry: Later that day, we threw our dinner at mum cause she can't cook.

Jerry's Mum: I've tried my best to make this fish and chips for dinner and you have thrown it in my face literally.

Jerry: Mum, that is a rate posh word. Are you some kind of boffin scientist or something? You should be doing experiments. I don't think my mum could do experiments cause she can't cook. So I don't think she could do science either. That was my cartoon for Charlie Booker. Thank you for watching. And I got paid a million pounds for it.

The End.